What is love ?

Really super emo post here. Nothing to do with people - people love. Its about parent - child love ^^"

My whole biography will be here. Id like everyone to know me and my life so far.

Name Is ApplebearCat, born 12th september 1991, male from Kepong.

This post is all about me n my parents only !!

My dad looks like a huge gigantic walrus with the power of an elephant.

When I was small, my parents regularly fight. When they fight, usually my walrus dad will break stuff like chairs and stuff like ornaments vases and things like that. That time I was really small, I dont really knew what was happening, so I usually just cried with my bigger sister ^^.

Anyway, I suppose its kinda normal to have violent dads these days, so I guess I survived my early childhood normally. I had great friends and enjoyed life =D.

During secondary school, things started to fall apart. My mum found my dad having an affair with a fucking bitch at work. So they fought and fought everyday and more and more stuff was broken. My mum developed an obsession to dig out stuff and accuse my dad ALMOST daily. So everynight, chairs are broken, Broken chairs are broken further, and further brokened chairs are brokened further. But I am already used to that. So it didn't really matter to me.

Soon, my lucky sister escaped the walrus and his queen and his 2nd bitch. She went to Australia. Now my sister was a good talker, strong, determined ( similar to my dad ), so when they fought, my sister usually knew how to stop them and scold the walrus. Sadly, being the useless child ( me ), practically I just cried till it ends.

The funniest thing is, I know my mum reads a book to save a dieing marriage. the first thing they said was DO NOT LET UR CHILD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIGHT AND DONT USE THEM TO DEFEND URSELF. Sadly, my mum is partially blind, and ALWAYS calls me to help her out. Haizz.. I am OK when i dont really see the fight, but when u are in the middle of it, u really feel sad.. and cry !

So ok broken chairs only mah ! Nothing to worry,no lasting effect on the teenage me. Oh yeah, but a while later, my dad gets more and more violent ^^v ". He started using the cangkul ( a hoe u use to chop grass too make the ground softer ). He uses it and smashes it on the floor like he is King walrus of the world ! Smash wall etc. Now this is really scary, cos I AM SCARED I WILL DIE OR MY MUM WILL DIE. To solve this, we always call my dads side family to save us. It usually works.

But the most funniest thing is, my parents always say they love me, and I know they do. But there are just some events that really make me, feel lonely, unwanted, lost, and suicidal. This breaking stuff and hoeing around, I DONT FUCKING CARE BUT..

These events next are what really tears me apart..

1. My dads attempt at mini suicide number 1. Buy rat poison and keep in car. Always say he want commit suicide cos my mum keep digging stuff about him and his bitch at work and he gets mad.

2. My mums attempt to suicide. She went to toilet. Then I went on the bed and saw her handphone send a message to her brother ( my uncle ), asking my uncle to take care of me and my sister coz she wanted suicide. Luckily i read the message, told my dad and my dad burst into the toilet and say KING WALRUS IS HERE, DONT SUICIDE. So anyway, that stopped my mum from suiciding. I saved someones life !!! ^^V !! Haha, u know i just realised i saved my mums life when i wrote this, i never thought of it before lol.

3. Possibly the most sadest case of them all. My dad at Kuantan in a hotel. Fight with my mum on phone ( because of bitch as usual ). Finnaly my dad wanted to really suicide there, apparently got rope on fan ( but he is a fat walrus, if he did try to hang, the fan sure break and he wont die lol ). ANYWAY FOR SOME FUCKED UP REASON HE ASK TO TALK TO ME LAST BEFORE HE SUICIDE. LOL. And of course i took the phone and.. haiz.. i dunno how to describe the feeling, but to hear ur dad crying and speaking his last words too me asking me too be good and all.. is not something someone like me too handle. I mean I was like 15 then ? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HEAR THAT SHIT !

YOU KNOW ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT MAKES ME DREAM EVERY FEW NIGHTS MY PARENTS DIE. KILL EACH OTHER. KILL ME. KILL EVERYONE. WHAT THE FUCK MAN ? ITS SO FUCKING UNFAIR. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE SHIT LIKE THIS ? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !

I think if i murder someone and go to hell, ill fit in there quite good. I already experienced a mini hell in Kepong. Oh ya, and you know how my parents love to say school days are the best. LOL. really funny lar they all haha..

Anyway originating from Kepong, I somehow study in Penang now . Cos my parents shifted to kedah to work. U KNOW WHY ? COZ my mum report to everyone my dad got affair so they shifted him to kedah to stop affair. LOLZ. So, me again, having to leave the few friends of my sad little life and start new at Penang.

Oh ya, Im not a very feel sad for urself, pathetic bastard, feel sorry for himself only bastard. I manage to score 9 A1 1 A2 in SPM u know ! PRONESS. haha. Now comes my great downfall =].

College life was enjoyable n i enjoyed it too much. Missed some classes and got nice screwing from parents 2 weeks ago. So ok, I promised them too be a good boy etc .. yeah, and Ive been fucking good for 2 weeks now, study all day, and all that but today.. tada.. the reason y i so emo.

My mum got my report from MARCH and saw me miss classes and decided to tell my DAD. MARCH IS MUCH FURTHER BEHIND THAN 2 WEEKS U FAILURE OF MATHS MOTHER.

So jz now I got another screwing from my dad saying how he trusted me blablabla that now he dun trust me and all. LOL ? I dont even want to talk to them and explain how their fucking maths failed, and how retarded they are.

AND HOW THEY EXPECT LIFE TO BE SO EASY WHEN THEY FUCKED UP MY LIFE SO MUCH. ISNT IT FAIR THAT I INFLICT SOME DAMAGE TO THEM ?

THEY LOVE ME SO MUCH they say..

But they wanted to suicided and gtfo my life.

They let me listen to their pleas when they wanted to suicide.

My mum talks to me about divorcing my dad every day like shes talking about the weather.

They dont trust me ANYMORE, because i skipped classes before i promised them never to do it again.

Oh ya, my dad mentioned that i can get him a heart attack since i break his trust. When it type this, he might had already gotten one. LOL ? Nah, I know it wont happen, walruses dont die young, they live long enuf to torture their children to insanity, and expect great service from them.

PRO =]

Pls dont call me, my few friends that I have left, I have succesfully smashed my phone after losing my walrus's trust. The screen is all shattered and if i answer phone calls, it might blow up my head and send me straight to hell.

Oh well, TONIGHT IS NOT A NIGHT I WILL EVEN STUDY, IM GONNA FUCKING PLAY TILL MORNING, IF IM GONnA MISS MY EXAM WHO THE FUCK CARES ? SINCE THEY WANTED TO SUICIDE SO MUCH, I CAN HELP THEM =D

LOL =D

My mum jz called me ask if i had dinner. My phone did NOT explode. Ask so sweetly, i guessed she realised her date error. Haiz too bad, walrus is still alive.

End of story

Since my blog is dead, I wonder who will first read it hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm